The semester has been filled so much fuck ups that I wished that I could just crash and burn. Personal problems, design work, endless submissions are taking its toll on me. I often wished that i could talk to someone, someone close, perhaps I might feel better. But the truth is, i couldn’t bring myself to do it. Maybe its because I’ve become so much of a people person that sometimes i find it hard to express my thoughts and feelings properly.
Its funny, how sometimes things do not get reciprocated the way u expect it to be. Many things i thought i knew, but in fact i don’t. Many things i thought was right, but am so so wrong. you said i stopped hanging out with you guys, but the fact is that i didnt. you guys simply (perhaps conveniently) forgot about me.
I started reading catcher in the rye again, and immediately felt better. The book is right, you know, that life is a game that one plays according to the rules. I try to, but its hard when everything gets fucked in your face. Perhaps its just me. I dunno. Its funny, how you could actually relate so much with fictional characters like holden caulfield or howard roark. I might have been better being a fictional character then.
Yes, i think too much. I read into things too much. Perhaps things might just have been so much simpler if i take it for what it is. Perhaps things would have been better that way. If only i could be that way. I would have been so much happier.
I am just a stranger in paradise.
Perhaps, like a true faith christian, the man above had other plans. maybe all this shit that is happening constantly in my face time and time again, is him trying to teach me something, but i am too blind to see it. that’s why the same things keep fuckin up in my face.
